a few months ago, i was in the feeling like kinda.. uhm yea i had crush to someone, we're in the same school, and we had a lot of similarity, this guy used to be my listener i mean im always tell my stories to him and ask for an advice, he's pretty good for this. but it's sad to know that a lot of my other friends judge him easily without knowing the real fact, yes sometimes i agree with them, but if they could simply know him or talk to him, they would change their mind.
okay, personally, i dont really know him, we just talk about life, society, and hobby but idk he's nice to me (but he's a little bit selfish)
it's been a year and i started to like him, it's kind of funny because we've told each other about our excrush, then suddenly i felt that way. well, maybe i liked him first, but it doesnt matter. and i still like him, it doesnt matter either.
and the drama just begun..........
AND this feeling creeps into me and i couldnt even sleep, you know, the more you keep it, the more it blast and it could simply destroy your everything. i mean, the feelings could be bigger than before (and it's pretty dangerous, isnt it?)
so my friend, Diana, told me to tell the truth to him. lol of course not.
but however, i couldnt resist whats inside of my chest and its truly siiiiick.
yeah, i told him.
"are you sure? i mean, hey, you deserve more!"
in a sec i regret what ive done
what does it mean, huh? 'you-deserve-more' lol its maybe an excuse idk and i dont even want to know what it exactly is
but it doesnt matter, i dont even care about his answers, the mean thing is... finally i could express my feelings and be happy (finally i could calm my flammable shitty feelings in my chest) and that day, i can peacefully sleep.
"i feel nothing and it's great :-)"
time flies and the feelings fade away. this is so weird, so i got that conclusion if feelings are weird things that ever given to the human being. it's funny that 'love' is a thing that can easily disappear (in any reasons). but remember, love from our family is the immortal thing, dont every forget that.
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one day, i tweeted this
"i know that im not worth your time, so heres the exit... :-)" (it's sarcasm of course)
that was not for him to be honest but few days later he tweeted...
"im not worth for you, i dont deserve you, and you deserve someone more"
you know, i dont know if he knew about my past tweet then suddenly tweeted this or it's just him who tweeted without the specific reason idk
ugh blah why i care too much to everyone
we born and die, and we could do everything that we like between the line of born and death, if you want to hug them, go hug them, if you want to kiss them, go kiss them, if you want to express your deep feelings, go tell them. basically, if you want to do it, then do it.
my mother told me to always SPEAK UP. even if in the worst situation, it always feel better in the end.
have a nice week!